Friday, June 19, 2009

Funniest Exam Answers

Ini beberapa jawaban ujian yg kocak. Dapet dari internet tapi lupa webnya. Udah lama banget soalnya.. Soalnya? Kalian bisa menebak sendiri seperti apa soal2nya.

Essays Answer:

”Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”

“The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet. ” (to be laid?? Mmmbbbaahhahaha)

“Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands... Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.”

"Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: 'Tee hee, Brutus.'"

"Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere."

"Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head."

"It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper."

"Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."

"One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead." (contoh jawaban yg polos. Hahaha)

"The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West." (??? Huahahaha kocak banget)

"Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers." (Curie? Radio? Marx Brother? Hiahahaha)

“The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth” (Female moth?? Buahahahaha...)

“Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name.”

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Ngakak abis gw bacanya.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

MEN ARE LIKE…

MEN ARE LIKE…
1. Men are like laxatives. They irritate the **** out of you.

2. Men are like bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like blenders. You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

5. Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.

7. Men are like department stores. Their clothes are always ½ off.

8. Men are like government bonds. They take sooooooooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion

10. Men are like popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like snowstorms. You never know when they are coming, how many inches you get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

EXAM

Exams are what ’real’ grown-ups use to occupy all those aged between 5 and 25. As soon as children start school, they are given reading tests, math quizzes and spelling checks. Throughout primary school, their ability is constantly monitored with a variety of in-school exams. Then at a certain age they get exams to tell them if they’re clever enough to go to a grammar school, quickly followed by real life qualification exams.

Then, slap bang wallop after that, another load of exams are thrown at them. If they’ve not been put off by all of that (and at last set of exams are good enough), they get to spend six more years getting a degree (which is determined by yet another exam).

So why all the exams? Perhaps it’s just another way of keeping kids busy and, hopefully, off the street. It can also be looked at as a form of toughening for young minds: if you can survive your first 25 years of life, you can survive almost anything that it throws at you after that.

Monday, June 1, 2009

A trip to Italy - 2 (Rome-Vatican)

Ok terakhir cerita sampe mana ya? Owh foto terakhir sampe di Piazza Navona.
Hari kedua di Roma diniatin untuk berkeliling ampe puas terutama Colloseum dan Vatican karena hari pertama ujan plus cape dr Milan.

Selama di Roma, patokan kami pasti selalu Termini, abis itu ke Piazza Della Republica. Bentuknya yang bunderan (mirip-mirip bunderan Ratu Plaza di Jakarta) membuatnya gampang diingat. Dan yang membuat gw seneng dengan Piazza ini jalanannya yang dibikin dari paving-block.


Piazza Della Republica

Liat jalan yang membelah gedung jadi 2? Yup yup terus turun kesana akan nyampe ke Quirinale, istana kepresidenan Italia. Dari sana jalan lagi sampe ke vatikan. Oya kenapa kami ga pake metro (kereta bawah tanah) ato tram ato bis? Karena seni jadi turis adalah menikmati indahnya sudut-sudut kota. Kalo pake taksi apa bedanya dengan di jakarta?? (Jawaban cerdas yang ga mampu pake taksi).

Antara Roma dan Vatikan sebenernya cuma dibatasi sungai dan begitu kita melangkahkan kaki menyeberangi sungai, officially, kita udah masuk ke kedaulatan Vatikan. Dan rasanya? Beuh! Waktu nyeberangi sungai rasanya capek yang ada jadi ilang, semangat lagi jalan ke tempat yang menjadi tempat tinggal Paus.


Gedung di seberang jembatan yang masuk ke teritori Vatikan


Castel Sant Angelo di kejauhan


Sant Pietro Basilica


Piazza Sant Pietro


Basilica Sant Pietro

Di Piazza St. Pietro inilah org-org biasanya berkumpul saat Natal tiba mendengarkan ceramah Paus yang muncul dr Basilica lt.2. Mungkin ada yang udah pernah nonton pelem Eurotrip? Nah ya kayak gitulah. Ato mungkin di pelem yang aga baruan dikit "Malaekat dan Syaithon" (Angel & Demon).

Dari Vatikan perjalanan dilanjutkan ke Piazza del Popolo. Jalan kaki pastinya, gempor-gempor dah. Selain Fontana di Trevi, piazza ini jadi obyek favorit gw. Tempatnya bagus pisaaannn, terkenal karena gereja kembarnya. Dan juga deket ma Museum Borghese yang terkenal itu.


Piazza del Popolo

Di Piazza ini ada kendaraan yang unik buat gw. Tenaganya pake baterai (kayaknya..), kalo maju badannya di doyongkan ke depan trs kalo mau melanin lagi badannya ditegakkin lagi. Tadinya mau nyewa nyobain alat ini. Cuma pas liat harganya mundur teratur deh kayak pasukan kalah perang. Mahal gila! 18 Euro buat setegah jam, 30 Euro buat sejam keliling tuh piazza. Beuh!




Piazza di Spagna

Dari Piazza del Popolo lanjut lagi ke Piazza Di Spagna. Di tempat inilah ada yang nyapa "Indonesia?" Wuihhh udah seneng aja neh ketemu orang yang tau negara kita, secara bule-bule biasanya taunya cuma Bali, Bunaken ato Raja Ampat. Ngajak ngobrollah orang itu trs nawarin ke kita gelang. Abis masangin gelang ke kita karena kita kira gretongan eh malah minta 5 euro, sempet nolak tapi temen-temennya pada dateng. Kampret! Kena palak deh.. Pelajaran buat tar di Milan yang ternyata berguna buat tega2an nolak ma org2 kayak gitu. Musti tega. Tunggu lanjutannya yah.. :)


A trip to Italy - Rome (1)

Postingan ini cuma sekelumit cerita yang tertinggal dari perjalanan ke Italy yang sebagian diambil dr catatan pribadi gw.

Sebenernya perjalanan ini ga direncanakan sejak jauh-jauh hari. Asli mendadak. Gara-garanya temen gw dapet tiket murah Ryan Air dari Goteborg (Inggris: Gothenburg) tujuan Milan. Temen gw bilang kalo harga tiketnya cuma 250 SEK PP (1 Swedish Krone ~ Rp 1500). Murah banget kan tuh. Perbandingan gw sih Jakarta - Bali sekitar 800 rb - 1 jt. Lah ini ga nyampe 500 ribu dah bisa ke Milan. Langsung dah gw booking tuh tiket berdua ma temen. Lagian dari Lund ke Goteborg ga terlalu jauh, cuma 1-2 jam. Oya gw sekolah di Swedianya di kota Lund, southern part of Sweden.

Sebenernya tujuan utama di Italy adalah Roma, kota yang terkenal dengan Romus dan Romulus dan Colosseum-nya. Dan memang obyek wisata di Roma lebih banyak drpd di Milan. Jadilah kami begitu nyampe di Milan-Bergamo langsung menuju ke station central Milan dan booking tiket kereta buat malamnya ke Roma. Gw dah denger kalo kereta di Italy ga beda jauh ma di Indonesia dan tibalah saatnya buat gw membuktikannya. Kereta lebih bagus ada sih tapi dengan harga ratusan Euro, gw bener2 ga mampu beli. Gw kismin (=miskin) waktu itu. Err.. sekarang juga masih kismin sih tapi ya much better lah.. Lagian niat awal gw juga emang backpack kok. Ga masuk akal klo beli tiket kereta ratusan Euro sedangkan tiket pesawatnya aja ga nyampe 30 Euro..

Oiya Italian people ga begitu bisa bahasa Inggris kalopun bisa bahasa dan grammarnya terbatas banget. Ada kejadian di station waktu beli tiket, kebetulan yang ngelayanin cewek dan gw dengan semangetnya bilang makasih.
Gw: Thank you very much.
Cewek: Thank you back..
Gw ma temen gw *berpandangan. Gubrak!

Dari Milan nyampe di kota Roma di station Tiburtina. Oiya sekedar keterangan station central Roma namanya Termini. Di peta sih jarak antara keduanya ga terlalu jauh, lagian juga masih pagi, nyampe jam 7an. Dan emang bener jarak sih ga terlalu jauh tapi ternyata topogarfi kotanya berbukit-bukit. Ampun dah!

Rome? Awesome! It was beautiful my friend! Semua bagian kota punya obyek sendiri.

Fontana di Trevi

Wah bener2 deh. Fontana di Trevi top markotop. Kebetulan waktu itu cuacanya cerah yang lumayan bikin keringetan dipake buat jalan kaki. Dan suasana di Fontana bener-bener adem.

The famous Colosseum


Pantheon


Piazza Navona

Piazza Navona

Ya ya ngeliat foto di atas kalian pasti bilang "Gila, cakep banget modelnya! dah punya pacar belon ya?"
Ngga ya?? Terlalu berlebihan ya kayaknya?

Eniwei, saking banyaknya obyek wisata di Roma ga akan cukup kalo cuma 1-2 hari disono, minimal musti 3 hari itupun kayaknya bakal padet banget kalo mau masuk-masuk ke museumnya.

Dah jam 22.32 ternyata. Dah masuk magrib. Shalat dulu kawan tar dilanjut lagi..